The other night on the bus home I heard a group of friends discussing what point in a dinner party it was socially acceptable to ask for the wifi password. And it got me thinking - what is password protocol these days?
Social acceptability level: 1
They give these out in Starbucks for free, and so why would you expect anything less from your friends, family, place of work, grownup-cuddles friend, dentist or doctor? Exactly.
Social acceptability level: 2
The Netflix password is the “spare key” of our digital age. It represents the first step on the road to a deeper commitment. It says “I trust you not to f*ck with my algorithm, but I’m not yet ready to set you up with your own profile”.
Social acceptability level: 3
There’s something rather chivalrous in this one. It suggests cheeky upgrades, foreign travel and poor attempts at the local language. In reality it means early morning flights from Luton. To Stansted.
Social acceptability level: 4
Tricky one. Seems like fun at the time - all “hahaha, no you take our selfie. No you do it!”. Fast forward three years, and they be like “Imma tried to read your messages earlier, but you changed your PIN. Why?”.
Social acceptability level: 5
Acceptable in near-death circumstances only. If you feel as though you might be about to slip into a coma, you need to go in knowing your social updates will be taken care of.
Social acceptability level: n/a
I’m a firm believer in the idea that it’s possible to live a perfectly happy, monogamous life with someone and never have to reveal your gmail password. By all means, share a bank account, parental duties, even a kidney. But some things need to remain a secret. My inbox folder structure is one of them.
What's your password protocol? Let me know in the comments below.