If the economic forecasters are to be believed we are on a slippery to slope to a major recession. This means that 'It' bags and bling will give way to a major focus on inconspicuous consumption. And, so, like a WWII madam giving her best girls to the soon-departing soldiers, I offer up the Camilla's Store Top 5 Last Hurrah Buys. 5 trinkets which, in a matter of weeks, will be seen as morally irresponsible, reprehensibly decadent and downright vulgar. Make the most of it people because I fear that no matter what Grazia says, there just isn't such a thing as credit crunch chic.
1) Expensive nail polish. It chips within seconds, costs £16 a pop and goes gloopy almost immediately and yet.... so pretty!
2) Waitrose. Shockingly over-priced but, as Nigella no doubt mutters to herself, where else can one buy crystallised voilet petals and 14 types of organic butter?? For staunch anti-credit-crunchers, I suggest you drive there in your 4x4 and refuse to re-use. Plastic rules!
3) Luxury gym membership. If we're going to be poor, we may as well look buff doing it. My favourite gyms are the ones that offer a £300 joining fee on a 5 year membership that has no get out clause. Yes.
4) Proper Tea. I once convinced a Texan that it was against the law not the drink tea at 4pm in the UK. High tea is our birthright. They may freeze all our assets but we will always have cucumber sandwiches goddamit.
5) Louboutins. A fleck of crimson as you step out the taxi offers the most flagrant display of wealth. But be careful, as these are almost passable as an investment buy, so be sure to buy in this season's style and then make an anecdote of how you accidently left one of them at Whisky Mist! Such larks.